I'm sitting in the Hyderabad Airport, reading yet another book on infertility. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother anymore. I've read so many books by so many different kinds of authors (doctors, patients, nutritionists, homeopathic experts, former infertiles, etc), that by this point, I feel like I've heard it all and there is nothing new for me to learn. Yet each new book does present information in a new way and every now and then I do get inspired by new ideas.
The book I'm reading now on my iPad has a few words on varicoceles. As we know, B had varicocele repair surgery back in April. He had very large varicoceles on one side, and fairly large on the other. Dr. J had said that with most patients, a significant number see improvement in sperm counts and achieve pregnancy after 3 months post-surgery. Then another large percentage will see improvement and pregnancy success after 6 months. A few more after a year.
This book claims that men with large varicoceles may see improvement within 6-12 months after the repair.
This gives me some renewed hope because we are exactly at the 6 month mark as of RIGHT NOW!
I'd actually already given up faith in us seeing any improvement from the surgery, and just figured we were going to have to wait more than a year until we could afford IVF. But if the stats in this book are accurate, then we may now just be entering into our prime time for TTC!
Best part of all, after my ordeal two months ago, I was relieved to get my period on time (like clockwork) while I was here in India. It did last an extra day or two longer than normal, but that is common when traveling, especially with a nearly 12 hour time change, so I'm not worried about that at all. Anyway, my point is, I'll be in my fertile period next week and should ovulate once B joins me for our vacation in Northern India! Maybe the stars will finally align for us and we'll be able to make our own little Indian baby here together ;)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
So get this, I'm in India. Yep, I pretty much have the best job in the world. In August they sent me to Finland for an international library conference, and now here we are, only in November, and they've sent me to India to recruit international students. The pay isn't great, but the travel perks are AMAZING and my co-workers really make it a place I look forward to going every day. I'm having the best time of life. I'm creatively filled by my career, and they let me travel. Life is good.
The morning before I flew out (late October), I voted. Had to make sure I exercised my civil right/duty. By the way, it worked. My guy totally won :)
I did one other weird thing before flying out that morning.... I went to the gyno for my first annual exam & pap in two years. After the pregnancy hopes two months ago, I realized I better get back in to see her for a regular check up. I have had my vagina probed and blood drawn so many times in the last two years by my RE that I kind of forgot about my regular health maintenance.
It was kind of an interesting appointment actually. I mean, don't get me wrong, it was all the usual stuff, the speculum, the breast exam, yadda yadda. She decided to do some blood work on me since I don't have a general practitioner right now and had forgotten to get my "30-year" check up last year (like I said, I go to the clinic enough right now, I'm not looking for any extra trips to the doctor at the moment!). She just wanted to check my cholesterol thyroid, pre-diabetes screening, etc., since I'm in relatively good health otherwise, this was all she wanted to double-check on.
Before she sent me to the lab for the blood draw, we talked about the infertility. She thought it had only been a year and a half, and I reminded her that it had been two years since I'd seen her last & she'd recommended us to Dr. J, but before that we'd been trying for 6 months. Also, Dr.s Strawn & Robb (let's call him Robbie, makes him seem more human and fallible to me), told me that since B & I haven't used contraceptives since Sept. 2008, they consider us to have suffered from infertility for over 4 years. That really got my gyno thinking.
Two things she told me really stuck out in my mind. She told me to make sure both B & I have someone to talk to outside of our relationship about all this, since it can be really hard on a couple and men & women process it differently, especially since I want kids badly & B could honestly take them or leave them. Anyway, she said the divorce rate for couples suffering from infertility is 70%! That's right, you didn't misread it, SEVENTY PERCENT!
What does that say about B & I? I think it says that so far, we must have a pretty incredible relationship, considering we've come this far through all this, especially the last 2.5 years since we started "trying." It also makes me feel better about the tension it's caused between us too. Makes me feel more normal. Makes me want to hold on tighter to him though. Makes me want to be more reasonable and understanding about his perspective on things when we're in the midst of a disagreement about all this.
The last thing the gyno said to me before I left for the lab was this, "Since you're taking a break for a while, watch your mood.... and watch your marriage." Then she gave me some information about a local support group for couples going through all stages of infertility.
God, that really makes me stop in my tracks and think. To have a gyno warning me to watch my marriage, it must be something not to take too lightly. Makes me think I better take that divorce rate seriously and literally watch my marriage! Yikes!
That's what I'm determined to do though. He's the love of my life. Babies get older and grow up, but your life partner is the one you want to wake up next to every morning. That's the one you're CHOOSING to spend every day with. That's the one you want to go to bed with every night. That's the one you want to call when something bad, funny, good, interesting, fantastic, horrible, or inspirational happens to you. That's the person who matters most, and if you have a good one, you better hold on tight and not let them go.
On a completely different note, I find it funny that my gyno took, "we're trying naturally since B had varicocele repair surgery 6 months ago, and if that doesn't pan out, we're saving up for IVF in early 2014" to mean that we are "taking a break for a while." Actually, it's not funny, it just validates the way I feel most of the time.
On a final note, my gyno asked how I was liking working with Dr.'s Strawn, Robbie, and J. I told her J was a genius, and I really appreciated Dr. Strawn... but that Robbie, who was my primary RE over there, well, I wasn't really "clicking" with. She told me that most of her patients love everyone over there, but the few who have issues, always say the issues is with Robbie! She told me I shouldn't feel weird about requesting to switch to Dr. Strawn if I felt more comfortable. I really like this gyno. She seems to get me. That, and she has never failed to provide me with instant gratification for anything I've requested from her... you know, except the whole pregnancy/baby thing. Oh well, I guess I shouldn't be so greedy.
Think I'll look into that support group when I get home.
