Khloe Kardashian is Pissing Me Off

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom married in 2009. Since that time the couple has been trying to conceive, and haven't been successful.  According to Perez Hilton on May 7, 2013, Khloe had an interview with Redbook magazine where she discussed her infertility issues. She claimed she wants everyone to know the "truth." Many applaud her for coming out and discussing her pregnancy issue, but I, along with many others, question whether she’s telling herself "the truth."

In the article Khloe discusses hormone treatments that she has undergone to try to get pregnant. “It’s more about my hormones being off.  I was taking hormone shots to stabilize them, and you have to take those shots consistently and they have to be done by a doctor—you can do them yourself, but I couldn’t.  And then after your cycle, you have to go to the doctor for ultrasounds and more testing. And if I’m in Miami and miss a treatment, I have to start all over again. It’s a commitment and I don’t mind doing it, but the timing was just off.”

Khloe wants everyone to know that she is "not infertile and that she is tired of discussing the issue."

And this is what pisses me off.  The very definition of infertility is a lack of conception after 12 consecutive months of unprotected sex with a fertile partner.  There are many causes of it, and hormonal imbalances and irregularities are one of the many of them.  She is in denial and it is pissing me off that she won't own this.

Look, I get it.  Nobody likes being labeled, especially by others, and particularly when it's something we find to be negative.  But COME ON!  You can't just say you're not infertile and make it be true!  You've been trying for 3.5 years and haven't gotten pregnant yet!  That's the definition of infertility!

And get this, she does admit that she thinks her difficulty in getting pregnant has helped a lot of other women who are struggling with similar issues.... except for the fact that the entire interview demonstrates that she is completely attempting to separate herself from these women!  She clearly does not want to be identified with women struggling from infertility, so why claim that you are proud to have helped them?!?!?!?

How cowardly and two-faced.

I used to like her, she was my favorite of all three of the Kardashian sisters.  This is an opportunity for her to become an activist and a role-model, and instead she is in denial and diminishes the truth of the struggle that 12% of American women are facing.

Come on Khloe, be brave and own this.  Lead the way for us. Continue bringing awareness to this issue instead of shying away from it.  Help us teach society that this is a medical disease and it is okay to talk about it.  Lead by example.  Show us that it is not something to be ashamed of.  Help us create awareness and demand equality, so that all states will mandate health insurance coverage.  Help us, don't lie to yourself that you are not one of us.  None of us wished this for ourselves either, but you could be a voice for us.  You could do something to further our cause.  Use your celebrity and fame to say the things we are thinking, talking, and blogging about.   Advocate for us.  Speak up for us so that more of us can someday achieve what we are all dreaming of, children and families of our very own, and if nothing else, acceptance and support.

You did great things for animals suffering from in-humane cruelty when you advocated with PETA, now do the same for something that hits even closer to home.  Continue making a name for yourself as the Kardashian with substance, courage, and strength.  Do this for the sisterhood you belong too whether you want to admit it to yourself or not.

Rant over.  I hope she bounces back from the press this interview is currently generating, and I hope it's in a way that supports infertile women, rather than ostracizing them.

10 Things You Should Not Say To Someone Going Through Infertility Treatments

In celebration of National Infertility Awareness Week, Liz Kozak, writing for the Huff Post's Parenting Blog published the following article on April 28th, which offers a list of what not to say to someone going through fertility treatments.

Early in 2012, I had published a page on this blog about what not to say to your infertile friend, and I imagine that B & I might be just as sensitive to some of the comments outlined below if everything goes as planned and we can find way to finance IVF in 2014.  So, without any further opinions from me, please read, learn, and enjoy!

"Why don't you just adopt?"

I may choose adoption down the line, but my desire to have a biological child is the same as any of the other 800 bazillion women out there getting pregnant and starting families. So, why don't you adopt some manners?

"Just take it as the universe's sign you're not meant to have kids."

Be honest here. Haven't you ever seen a pregnant, smoking woman riding a motorcycle without a helmet while eating sushi -- tuna, no less -- and thought, "Really? She's going to be a mom?" Not everyone with children is fit to be a mother. The universe might not know that, but I do.

"Isn't that really expensive?"

Yes, it is. While we're talking about it, how much was that five-bedroom house you just bought, and how much did you throw down for that Lexus? My money is none of your beeswax, just like yours is none of mine. Unless you're treating at Panera the next time we meet for salads, in which case, thank you in advance.

"You already have one child. Why do you need another?"

This is not my situation, but I've heard this doozy gets thrown around a lot. A lot of parents want more than one child, mostly so family team sports can have an even number of players. Also, so there is more than one person to decide one day that it's best to move you into an old folks' home.

"Are you going to be like Octomom?"

Yes; yes I am. I am going to be exactly like her. In every way. I'm so glad to be having a conversation with someone who really gets me.

"Maybe you're just too old to have a baby."

You're never too old to give up on your dreams. You still haven't given up on wearing leggings as pants, and that has nothing to do with age. Just poor taste. So, thank you for inspiring me to reach for the stars!

"I bet when you stop with the treatments, you'll get pregnant."

OMG! I am going to get my Harvard-trained physician on the phone right now and let him know you've cracked the case. The conversation will go something like this: "Doc? It's me. Listen, we've gotta cancel the IVF. That's right. I know I have 18 follicles ready to burst, but this lady in my book club said the highest success rates do not come from medical advancements, but from doing nothing."

"Just enjoy your freedom!"

I know you truly mean well when you say that. I understand that couples without kids can go on vacations with much less planning than those who do have them. But making the argument that being able to pack up and head to a Sandals resort on a whim is a better place to be in than having rightful heirs to my prized snow globe collection is... wait. Let's call this one a tie.

"I could never give myself all those shots."

Really? Even if you had diabetes? Or were in anaphylactic shock from a stray almond shard and required an EpiPen? I'm not doing this recreationally. There is something wrong with my lady-plumbing, and I am taking medication to try to correct it. And it actually hurts less than the mental anguish I'm suffering as a result of your ignorance.

"Just relax and you'll get pregnant."

So, it's my fault, huh? And all this time I thought it was because my high FSH levels were indicating that something might be off with my egg reserve. You should really share this little nugget of wisdom with people on the kidney donor list, too. I they'll find it really helpful. Also, you win a seasonal fruit basket for being the 1,000th person to ever say this to me.

And the #1 thing you should absolutely say to someone going through infertility treatments:

"I support you."

Podcast: Taming the Twin Trend from Infertility

This podcast is a couple years old (March 30, 2011), but I came across it on the RESOLVE website and decided to check it out.

I agree that people are seeing twins more and more, not even just in the popular media with celebrities, but with everyday people all around them.  Of course people struggling with infertility would feel comfortable hedging their bets with the risk of twins, rather than just transferring one embryo, which would be safer for the fetus(es) and eventual babies/children. It's funny that I say "hedgin their bets," because this whole world of infertility and ART treatments really is a gamble, and many couples get burned in the game, losing money, time, sanity, and the only sure-thing in all this is stress and heartache.  For the lucky ones, the risk is worth it and they graduate out of infertility into parenthood, one way or another.

The part that scares me is that whenever people try to warn me about how difficult multiples will be, I always just think about the cost of having two the same age at the same time, and the stress and time management of it all.  I always brush it off and declare that if anyone can handle multiples, its me!  I am the oldest of 4 kids and grew up living in an in-home daycare.  "I got this," I think to myself when imagining myself surrounded by my adorable like-dressed twins or even triplets.  I've never considered the health risks, medical costs, and heartbreak that could be associated with it.  This podcast kind of opened my eyes and makes me think twice about it.  And I think that's a good thing.  As we get closer to IVF ourselves, I think going in knowing how we feel about every possible outcome is the most important thing.

At this point, if B & I do IVF in 2014, would I choose to do a single or a double/triple embryo transfer?  Unless my health insurance covered it, or if they offered the "two-fer" deal as mentioned in the podcast, I'd probably still elect to transfer as many as my RE will allow, just to increase my odds of a successful live birth.  I'd rather have multiple children who need extra care & attention for a while, then no children ever.  It is so maddening that money and state-mandates on health insurance coverage can play such an important, and honestly, such a deciding factor in all this.  I truly envy those who are able to naturally and easily conceive.  They may think they do, but most of them have no idea what a gift life truly is, and I mean that in the most fundamental meaning of the word.

Daily Infertility News Digest

Rural women still subjected to harassment on grounds of 'infertility' The Hindu Subjecting women to harassment, on grounds of 'infertility', is still one of the prime reasons behind disputes between couples in rural pockets in Krishna district. "A few weeks ago, it was reported that a housewife had committed suicide under ... See all stories on this topic »

Cancer, Parkinson's and Infertility: Popular Monsanto Product Linked to Major ... Center for Research on Globalization Cancer, Parkinson's and infertility—these are just some of the diseases and health problems that a new study says may be linked to the heavy use of Roundup weed killer, the world's most popular herbicide that is sprayed on millions of acres of crops. See all stories on this topic »

Taking Action for Your Health: Surgical options may help women treat infertility ABC Action News ... Account (YouTube, Google+, Gmail, Orkut, Picasa, or Chrome) to add ABCActionNews's video to your playlist. Sign in. Transcript Statistics Report. Published on Apr 27, 2013. Taking Action for Your Health: Surgical options may help women treat ... See all stories on this topic »

Milwaukee Acupuncture and Weight Loss Center's New Website Informs, Educates Yahoo! New Zealand News The website's blog offers articles on topics ranging from weight loss techniques to natural infertility treatments. Dr. Rapkin states that the blog will continue to grow, creating an ever-expanding resource of interesting, accessible data on all ... See all stories on this topic »

Did this 'New Girl' episode freak you out?

Did you freak out after watching this episode of 'New Girl'?  Jess was freaking out after her gynecologist friend broke the news that a woman can lose up to 90 percent of her eggs by age 30.  As cosmopolitan.com points out, Jess's panic session was funny—but do we really lose most of our eggs by age 30?

Dr. Lauren Streicher, assistant clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwestern University
Eggs tells Cosmo that eggs "do age, but as long as you are ovulating and it's a good quality egg, it doesn't matter how many you've got in the bank." 

Dr. Streicher says egg quality is more important than egg quantity, a factor that just varies from lady to lady. We are born with about 100,000 eggs and we slowly lose them over our lifetime, but there is no magic rule that says egg count drops dramatically at age 30. 

"Even if you did lose 90,000 eggs by age 30, who cares?" she says. "You’ve still got 10,000. That's enough for 10,000 babies." Which would be about 9,998 more than a lot of us could handle! 

Well, that's all well and good, but sounds a little bit too simple and too good to be true.  So I scrolled down to the comments of the article.

A woman pointed out a study that was featured on abc two years ago: http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/OnCall/women-fertility-falls-lose-90-percent-eggs-30/story?id=9693015#.UMH6wJPjnIZ.

Dr. Marie Savard, a "Good Morning America" medical contributor, discussed a study which looked at the egg supply of 325 women of varying ages from the UK, the US, and also Europe and answered some frequently asked fertility questions for women.

The full study can be found here: http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0008772.

The most important point that the findings of the study shows is that women lose eggs a lot faster than was previously thought, and that by the age of 30, we lose about 90% of our egg reserves!

The GMA piece did answer the question that the 'New Girl' episode brought up for many of us about having your eggs counted. The answer?  It's not possible.  You can measure the size of your ovaries and test your hormone levels, but there is no way to know for sure how many quality eggs you have left.

What is the take away message of this study & news story?  Have kids earlier rather than later if possible.

I'm 31, and B & I are planning on doing IVF when I'm 32 if we are not pregnant on our own yet.  We started out on this whole infertility road when I turned 27, and started seeking help when I was 29.  When we started, I was still at a healthy reproductive age and by the time we hopefully get pregnant with ART I'll be entering the age of those poor women who "waited too long" to have kids.  Not fair.

I wish they didn't blame it so much on women's rights and career driven goals.  Some of us try to start at a younger age and still face these issues.  ART is expensive for most of us, and so we don't always have the luxury of jumping into IVF as soon as we find out that conceiving naturally won't come easy to us.

I can have a career and not blame my infertility on it.