May is all about you

Thought I'd post a copy of the monthly e-newsletter that RESOLVE sends out to anyone on it's mailing list.  If you'd like to sign up for their mailing list, visit the RESOLVE website.

A monthly reminder that RESOLVE is working to improve the lives of people diagnosed with infertility.

National Infertility Awareness Week® 2013 was a resounding success! Once again the infertility community came together to change the conversation about infertility. “Join the Movement” was embraced by thousands of professionals, volunteers, and RESOLVE community members. Our collective efforts reached millions with information about the disease of infertility. Thank you to all who participated! In May we turn our focus from raising public awareness to helping you. You are the reason RESOLVE exists, and you keep RESOLVE going. You have connected with RESOLVE because you either value RESOLVE’s programs and services or you care about the people we serve. Read on to learn what RESOLVE is doing for you. And reference the sidebar for tips for how to handle Mother’s Day. RESOLVE's Advocacy Day brings largest infertility group to Washington, D.C.  Today, RESOLVE and more than 115 infertiliity advocates are in Washington, D.C. talking to Members of Congress about issues important to the infertility community. You can make an impact right from your home! Call Congress today! It takes 5 minutes. Click here for details! Send an email to Congress and ask them to support the Family Act and a bill to help wounded veterans get infertility coverage. By adding your voice to the efforts of those on Capitol Hill today, you can increase our impact and make a real difference for those that need financial relief for infertility treatments. You will make a difference. RESOLVE Support Groups: You make them happenWe have added 8 support groups in 2013, bringing our current total to 163 nationwide! Thank you to all the volunteers who make support groups possible. May is the perfect month to take charge of your infertility journey and do something for yourself. Find a support group near you. National Infertility Awareness Week® Highlights NIAW in the news RESOLVE in the news Personal stories from the community Bloggers respond to "Join the Movement" Thank you to family building professionals and volunteers who held more than 100 events nationwide in an effort to raise awareness. And thank you to all of our NIAW Sponsors. May 2013  Connect with RESOLVE         Tips for Dealing with Mother’s Day Advice from the Community Advice from RESOLVE Make the Day Your Own We Are Your Support System Attend a 2013 RESOLVE Walk of Hope! Houston - May 18th Washington, D.C. - June 22nd   Your 2013 Checklist Join a Support Group Start a Support Group Get the Newsletter Walk of Hope  Update Your Profile Read the Policy Blog Download a Podcast Do We Have Your Current Information? With so many exciting events, support programs, and important information available, RESOLVE wants to make sure we are sending you the information you need. Please take a moment to review your preferences so that we can serve you better and update our database.

Contact RESOLVE today Phone: 703.556.7172 Fax: 703.506.3266 RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association 1760 Old Meadow Rd., Suite 500 McLean, VA 22102 Connect With Us: Important Information Infertility Diagnosis Family Building Options Insurance Coverage Find RESOLVE Near You Support and Services Find a Support Group Online Support Community HelpLine Find a Professional

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10 Things You Should Not Say To Someone Going Through Infertility Treatments

In celebration of National Infertility Awareness Week, Liz Kozak, writing for the Huff Post's Parenting Blog published the following article on April 28th, which offers a list of what not to say to someone going through fertility treatments.

Early in 2012, I had published a page on this blog about what not to say to your infertile friend, and I imagine that B & I might be just as sensitive to some of the comments outlined below if everything goes as planned and we can find way to finance IVF in 2014.  So, without any further opinions from me, please read, learn, and enjoy!

"Why don't you just adopt?"

I may choose adoption down the line, but my desire to have a biological child is the same as any of the other 800 bazillion women out there getting pregnant and starting families. So, why don't you adopt some manners?

"Just take it as the universe's sign you're not meant to have kids."

Be honest here. Haven't you ever seen a pregnant, smoking woman riding a motorcycle without a helmet while eating sushi -- tuna, no less -- and thought, "Really? She's going to be a mom?" Not everyone with children is fit to be a mother. The universe might not know that, but I do.

"Isn't that really expensive?"

Yes, it is. While we're talking about it, how much was that five-bedroom house you just bought, and how much did you throw down for that Lexus? My money is none of your beeswax, just like yours is none of mine. Unless you're treating at Panera the next time we meet for salads, in which case, thank you in advance.

"You already have one child. Why do you need another?"

This is not my situation, but I've heard this doozy gets thrown around a lot. A lot of parents want more than one child, mostly so family team sports can have an even number of players. Also, so there is more than one person to decide one day that it's best to move you into an old folks' home.

"Are you going to be like Octomom?"

Yes; yes I am. I am going to be exactly like her. In every way. I'm so glad to be having a conversation with someone who really gets me.

"Maybe you're just too old to have a baby."

You're never too old to give up on your dreams. You still haven't given up on wearing leggings as pants, and that has nothing to do with age. Just poor taste. So, thank you for inspiring me to reach for the stars!

"I bet when you stop with the treatments, you'll get pregnant."

OMG! I am going to get my Harvard-trained physician on the phone right now and let him know you've cracked the case. The conversation will go something like this: "Doc? It's me. Listen, we've gotta cancel the IVF. That's right. I know I have 18 follicles ready to burst, but this lady in my book club said the highest success rates do not come from medical advancements, but from doing nothing."

"Just enjoy your freedom!"

I know you truly mean well when you say that. I understand that couples without kids can go on vacations with much less planning than those who do have them. But making the argument that being able to pack up and head to a Sandals resort on a whim is a better place to be in than having rightful heirs to my prized snow globe collection is... wait. Let's call this one a tie.

"I could never give myself all those shots."

Really? Even if you had diabetes? Or were in anaphylactic shock from a stray almond shard and required an EpiPen? I'm not doing this recreationally. There is something wrong with my lady-plumbing, and I am taking medication to try to correct it. And it actually hurts less than the mental anguish I'm suffering as a result of your ignorance.

"Just relax and you'll get pregnant."

So, it's my fault, huh? And all this time I thought it was because my high FSH levels were indicating that something might be off with my egg reserve. You should really share this little nugget of wisdom with people on the kidney donor list, too. I they'll find it really helpful. Also, you win a seasonal fruit basket for being the 1,000th person to ever say this to me.

And the #1 thing you should absolutely say to someone going through infertility treatments:

"I support you."

The Center for Infertility Justice

Have you ever heard of the Center for Infertility Justice?  No? Neither had I, until I started researching information to post related to National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW), and Advocacy Day as part of my commitment to post once a day for a week following NIAW, since I was unable to be very active during the week itself.  Today actually marks my last day in this week-long commitment, and I think posting information about Resolve's Center for Infertility Justice is a fitting final post for this week.

Don't get me wrong, I don't intend to slip into months of posting-free neglect like I have in the past now that my week-long daily post commitment has been accomplished.  Rather, I intend to continue blogging regularly, though probably not daily, and only as issues, emotions, or events inspire me to write.

So, back to the topic at hand... 

But wait, what is The Center for Infertility Justice you ask?

The Center for Infertility Justice is where RESOLVE brings together its advocates, supporters, partners, and like-minded organizations to effectively study, defend, and promote infertility.  

The goals of the Center are as follows:

• To promote access to care for all who need it
• Fight any attempts to restrict or eliminate that care
• Provide research and data to support positive public policy for the infertility community. 

RESOLVE, the only patient advocacy group in the U.S. that fights for the rights of women and men who are infertile has seen an increasing need to bring together the community to ensure that our voices are heard.

How does The Center for Infertility Justice carry out their goals?

State Legislation

RESOLVE works with advocacy volunteers to ensure equal access to all family building options for men and women experiencing infertility or other reproductive disorders. In 2013, RESOLVE anticipates that there will be legislation introduced in every state that could negatively impact access to family building options. Find out what is happening in your state.

Federal Legislation

RESOLVE works with Members of Congress and their staff to make sure that the voice of the infertility community is heard.

Personhood Legislation

RESOLVE opposes all Personhood initiatives and urges all Americans to vote against any anti-family legislation as it undermines access to safe and reliable infertility medical treatments. Many states have introduced personhood bills or ballot initiatives this year. Find out more about these initiatives and how you can get involved in advocacy efforts that fight against these initiatives in your state.

Advocacy Day
It's time for people with infertility to stop being ignored. It’s time for us to ask that our government to do something positive for our community. People with infertility deserve access to family building options when cost is a barrier to parenthood. Join us at Advocacy Day 2013.

How can you keep up to date on what's new with the Center for Infertility Justice?

Did you know that the Center for Infertility Justice has a blog?  They do and I encourage you to follow it today!  The Center for Infertility Justice blog is the official advocacy blog by Resolve and is the only blog dedicated to talking about public policy that impacts the infertility community.  Whether you are trying to build your family or a professional in this community – this blog is a “must read.”

How can you join the cause for infertility justice?

Become a Grassroots Advocate!  Every year the Center of Infertility Justice is fighting anti-family bills in more and more states. They need you today.  They need you to help build their state advocacy infrastructure so that they are prepared to fight back in all 50 states at any time.  For more information on how to get involved, visit the "Project PROTECT" page on the Resolve Website.

Where can you find more information? 

Other advocacy links:

• Legislative Issues
• Receive our Advocacy News and Alerts
• RESOLVE Position and Policy Statements
• Insurance Coverage
• Donate to RESOLVE
• RSS Feed

Thank you to the sponsors who support Resolve's advocacy efforts!  It's nice to see so many fertility treatment centers supporting the cause!

The Family Act

History

(Taken from the Resolve Website)

In May 2011 a bill to create a tax credit for the out-of-pocket costs associated with infertility medical treatment was introduced in the U.S. Senate by Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (NY) and in the U.S. House of Representatives by Congressman John Lewis (GA). Aptly named the Family Act of 2011, S 965/HR 3522 could have potentially helped thousands of people seeking medical treatment that otherwise would be out of reach for them. RESOLVE supported this bill and required help from its followers and members to get this bill passed and made into a law. The bill died in the 112th Congress and must be re-introduced in the 113th Congress.  Check back on the Resolve Website for updates on the Family Act in the 113th Congress.

Current Status

The 2013 Advocacy Day in Washington D.C. on May 8th will highlight the reintroduction of this bill as one of two major issues this year.  For more information about attending this year's Advocacy Day, please see previous blog posts from this week on inconceivablestory.blogspot.com, or visit the Resolve Website's Advocacy Day webpage.

More Information Regarding The Family Act

(From the Resolve Website)

About the Family Act - S 965/HR 3522

Learn the details about this past pending legislation.

Current Bill status

Find out what's going on with this bill.

Why Does RESOLVE Support this Bill?
The Family Act of 2011 allows thousands that would otherwise not be able to access care to receive the medical treatment they need to build their family.

Infertility Tax Credit FAQs
Get answers to frequently asked questions about this pending legislation.

Family Act in the News
Read the latest articles about the Family Act.

Become a Grassroots Advocate
Every year we are fighting anti-family bills in more and more states. We need you today. We need you to help build our state advocacy infrastructure so that we are prepared to fight back in all 50 states at any time.

My thoughts

I am personally very excited about the Family Act, and if it gets re-introduced as a bill in the 113th Congress, I'll be happy to support it, advocate for it, promote it, and even lobby for it in anyway I can.  I know many of my readers and hundreds, probably even thousands more out there do not have health insurance coverage for IVF and other ART treatments.  So many of us could benefit from this opportunity to make our dreams of creating or growing our families become a reality.  I urge everyone affected by infertility to support the Family Act, especially if it is re-introduced as a bill this year.  Together we are stronger, so please, let's join together to support this Act!

Advocacy Day Issues: Infertility Tax Credit, or "The Family Act"

This is the fifth post in my week-long commitment to promoting infertility awareness after having missed my opportunity to do so during NIAW (National Infertility Awareness Week), which took place last week, April 21-27, 2013.  Today, I am posting information about the two major issues for which those who attending Advocacy Day in D.C. on May 8th can lobby.

There are two major issues on the table for this year's Advocacy Day on May 8, 2013.  See below for a brief description of each issue, as taken from the Resolve Advocacy Day Website:

Issues:

"We will be on Capitol Hill talking about the scope of infertility in this country and the physical, emotional, and financial impact of this disease. We will be asking Congress to support legislation that will allow more people to afford IVF treatments, and legislation that will allow wounded vets to seek IVF treatment to build their family."

Infertility Tax Credit

In the 112th Congress (2011-2012) a bill to create a tax credit for the out-of-pocket costs associated with IVF and fertility preservation for cancer and other diseases was introduced in the U.S. Senate and the U.S. House of Representatives. Aptly named the Family Act, the bill will potentially help thousands of people seek medical treatment that otherwise would be out of reach for them. RESOLVE is working hard to get this bill introduced in the 113th Congress and it will be a major focus of Advocacy Day 2013. Read more here about the Family Act. Learn the latest information on these issues by becoming a Facebook fan of the Family Act of 2011 Page.

Women Veterans and Other Health Care Improvements Act

On January 24, 2013 U.S. Senator Patty Murray introduced the Women Veterans and Other Health Care Improvement Act S 131.  A bill to amend title 38, United States Code, to improve the reproductive assistance provided by the Department of Veterans Affairs to severely wounded, ill, or injured veterans and their spouses, and for other purposes. This bill will provide access to fertility treatment for seriously injured veterans and their spouses, adoption assistance, permanent authority for VA to provide child care, and other elements. Read more here about the Women's Veterans and Other Health Care Improvements Act.

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Personally, while I find the Women Veterans and Other Healthcare Improvements Act important, it does not affect me or improve my own immediate situation.  I support it, and am happy to promote the issue, but it does not get me quite as fired up as movements that might benefit the majority of couples and individuals struggling from infertility, the crushing costs associated with it, and the unfair policies of health insurance companies that vary from state to state. 

On the other hand, The Family Act (the tax credit for everyone paying for infertility treatment out of pocket), boy does that ever affect me!  What a fair and valuable tax credit this would be, making IVF and other ART options attainable to those of us who can't consider adoption as a resolution to our infertility journey (for which there is a tax refundable credit...and a sizable one at that!).  I am so excited about this bill that I'll be posting another blog post dedicated to it alone tomorrow.  Oh, how I wish I could go to the capital next week and lobby for this bill!

What to expect...

... if you attend Advocacy Day on May 8th!

Again, in support of last week's National Infertility Awareness month, I am committed to posting every day this week and promoting Resolve's Advocacy Day in Washington D.C. on May 8, 2013.  I am sadly unable to attend in person, but I want to help get the word out there so I am reposting valuable information about the event as I find it.

Today's post is a copy and paste job from Resolve's Website, about what to expect if you are able to attend this important advocacy event in the nation's capital next week:

What to Expect

We like to say Advocacy Day is the day of "Three E's".  Exciting. Empowering. Eventful.

You will spend your day with women and men who care about the same things you care about. Many of our advocates have experienced infertility or are still on their journey to parenthood. You will come together and your voice will be heard!

Walking through the same buildings as our lawmakers will give you a sense of pride and strength knowing you are there to make a difference for you and all those who battle infertility.

Advocacy Day

Advocacy Day is a 2 day event. On May 7 we will have an evening reception from 5:30PM to 7:30PM and then will begin at 7:30AM on Wednesday, May 8. RESOLVE will provide you with a morning training session before you head out for your Congressional meetings. The day will end with a wrap-up reception. Please plan to be at Advocacy Day through 5:00 p.m. on May 8 as you may have late appointments. We encourage all participants to plan your travel accordingly.   

RESOLVE will schedule your appointments for you and provide you with a schedule on Advocacy Day. All Advocacy Day participants will attend training before your scheduled appointments. You will also receive your packets of materials as well as receive in-depth training regarding the issues and talking points for the appointments. You will also meet your fellow advocates during the Training session. 

Advocacy Day Training

RESOLVE will provide all of the training for Advocacy Day no experience is necessary!  If you want to educate your elected officials on the disease of infertility, then you are ready to come to Washington.

Training Conference Call

Monday, April 29, 2013
9:00 PM ET

Register here

RESOLVE will send information on the Training Call to those who have registered for Advocacy Day.  If you miss the training call, you will have access to download a recording of the call.

Do you have more questions? Read the Advocacy Day FAQs. Get travel tip information here. 

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I hope this helps in planning your trip to Washington, DC for those of you who are able to go, and I hope to be able to follow in your footsteps sometime within the next few years, once our infertility and other finances settle down a bit!

More on NIAW (National Infertility Awareness Week)

In effort to assist in promoting awareness of infertility issues, I am reposting this, "what you can do" page from the resolve website.

What You Can Do

Be part of the infertility movement! Anyway you can raise awareness will help increase public understanding about the disease of infertility. We urge anyone who cares about the infertility community to help with our efforts.

In this section we’ve provided ways for you to get involved with the biggest infertility awareness campaign of the year.  This campaign helps the infertility community share our voice and provide important information to the public. 

The goal is to make sure the public:

• Understands that infertility is a disease that affects 1 in 8 couples of reproductive age;
• Acknowledges that there are many ways to build a family;
• Understands that the disease of infertility impacts the physical, emotional, and financial health of those that are facing it;
• And those trying to conceive know when to seek the advice of a specialist.

Take a look at all the ways you can raise awareness and be part of the infertility movement!

• Sponsor
• Hold an event
• Share Information
• Share Your Story
• Know More About Infertility

National Infertility Awareness Week, April 21-27, 2013

I've been so busy with work lately (I travelled to four different conferences, four weeks in a row, ending last week), that I kind of dropped the ball on blogging during National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW), so I am going to commit to blogging every day this week (the week after NIAW), to continue the movement even after the big push is over.  In so doing, I also hope to promote awareness of the upcoming advocacy day next week.

In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, I first wanted to share this video and increase awareness of Resolve, the National Infertility Association.  I hope all of my readers struggling with infertility have visited this site and taken advantage of the many resources available there.

A few quotes really stood out to me in this video:

1. We view infertility as a movement... [and] as a cause that people need to care about.
2. We want the government to view this as a disease and put... financial resources behind it.  It's a public health issue, and we want to see it taken as such.
3. Your resolution may be that you are child free... or... that you build your family through adoption.  Resolve stands for helping you meet that resolution... [whatever it may be].
4. I hope that we can raise awareness so that when someone is diagnosed with infertility, instead of hearing, "Oh, you just need to relax," they'll hear, "How can I support you?"

That last one is still a huge thorn in my side.  You'd be shocked by how many people STILL suggest that maybe we just need to relax when they learn of our struggle with infertility!  At first it was insulting and annoying, now it is so predictable it is almost funny.... or at least it would be if it wasn't still so painful.