Rough Week (Baby Showers Galore)

This is a picture of children's books that I collected at the library conference I attended in Dallas last month.  I discovered last year that you can find newly released books, sometimes signed by the others, at really good prices in the exhibitor's hall.  I picked up a few last year and gave them away as baby shower gifts so quickly that I ran out by Christmas.  I decided to really stock up this time around since so many babies are on the way this year.


I've got baby showers for 3 babies this weekend.  Two tomorrow (Friday) and one for a close friend on Saturday.  I was actually starting to get kind of excited for these showers when I went out shopping on Monday to pick up cards, wrap/bags, and a little something to go with the book or two I'll give each baby-on-the-way.  That is, until I got completely overwhelmed.


First I picked up some outfits, and the cards, and the gift bags.  I was doing good.  Then I remembered that another friend had had her second baby last Fall & I never sent a little gift because I was out of books, so I thought I'd send her one of the many you see in the picture above, but then I'd need a card, so I went back to pick one up.


While I was at it, I thought I should think ahead and pick up a card for another close friend who lives far away but is due with her second child in April, & I'd want to send a gift when the baby arrives.  So I had to pick out a really thoughtful card to go with the book I'd send.  But then I thought she was such a good friend, I should go pick out a little outfit or something too, so I went back over to the baby section...again.


Then I remembered that my husband's cousin in Germany just had their second child, and we should at least send them a card.  One of my books wouldn't really do since it would be all in English though, so I should pick out another outfit or blankie or something.  I picked out a sleeper and then went back to the cards...again.


Well then I remembered that another friend just announced her pregnancy and would probably be having some kind of shower soon, so I should just get it all taken care of while I was at it, because who knew how emotional I'd be in the future, and it would be nice to just have it all done now.  As I walked back to the baby area it dawned on me that I don't know the sex of this baby.  In fact, it's all so new that the mother might not even know the sex yet.  Anything I picked up now would not be very personal for such a close friend.  I decided I really needed to stop and just go home.  The anxiety was setting in.


My bill came to $58 and that's when the husband called warning me not to spend too much.  Really?  REALLY?  I needed 3, count them 3 shower gifts, cards, and wrapping, plus cards for 3 more babies, not to mention another two on the way this summer that I wasn't even worrying about yet!  Plus, it was all I could do to muster the strength to spend over an hour weeding through baby clothes, blankies, toys, bibs, etc., and now he was lecturing me about spending too much money on this project?!?  I was annoyed to say the least.


Plus, when I got home, I remembered that my cousin is due this summer too, and there will surely be a family baby shower for her soon too.


So that was all earlier in the week and kind of left me feeling anxious about everything coming up this weekend.  I'm feeling like I spent too much, like I should go to the dollar store to get cards and wrapping and return the stuff I got at Target.  I have to make snacks to pass and I don't have the energy to shop for and cook anything tonight plus work out with my workout buddy, but I don't want to buy some cheap processed junk food either.


Oh, and guess what? My co-worker just told me her daughter who has endo just got pregnant... one week after going off the pill.  Don't get me wrong, I don't wish this pain on anyone and I'm super happy for them that they didn't have to struggle with infertility like they assumed they would, but seriously?  Someone who went into TTC knowing they'd have trouble get's knocked up right away?  And we, who've been off the pill for 3.5 years and TTC for 1.5 years have no babies and no answers?  Come on!


I know this is kind of a whiny "ranting" post, but it's my blog and this is one of the things I created it for: getting my feelings out in a safe place.  I can't always walk around optimistic and hopeful and seeing the silver lining in things.  Sometimes I just want to vent.  That way, I can clear my head, put on a smiley face again, and go have fun at these showers this weekend.  Which, by the way, really are going to be fun.  I love party food and the one on Saturday will have many of my closest friends coming from all over a tri-state area, so I am super excited to hang out & spend time with everyone, not to mention dote on the parents-to-be who are going to be AMAZING parents and I can't wait to meet their little guy :)