Sunday, October 21, 2012

Pregnancy Announcements


This post is dedicated to a list of everyone who has announced their pregnancy since we have have started TTC.  

I saw a similar post on another infertility blog and it made me feel like I wasn't so alone, so it inspired me to start writing again.  In case you couldn't tell, I've been in a funk the past 5 months and didn't have the will to blog.  I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things again because it really used to help me.

For reference, we have officially been trying since June 2010 (29 months total), though we haven't been preventing since September 2008 (a total of 50 months)... the date our Reproductive Endocrinologists care about.

These are in reverse-chronological order from the most recent pregnancy announcement to the first one after we began TTC.  I recommend starting at the bottom and reading back up to the top.

  • Second Cousin- Found out on Facebook - in her defense, I don't think I've told her about our infertility struggle (added 10-28-12)
  • College Roommate- It's sort of coming full circle right now as the first one on this list is also the last (see the last bullet point).
  • Co-worker's wife- He (the co-worker), announced that he and his wife were expecting the same week that B & I thought we were finally pregnant.  Rather than feeling "stung" as I normally do when I hear such news, I was giddy & excited for him because I thought I'd be announcing the same news in a few months when we were out of the first trimester.  Again, I'll write a separate post about this later, as I mention below.  The whole thing makes things even harder to swallow than usual when he talks about he and his wife's pregnancy now.  This is #2 for them and they are due in April 2013.
  • Relative- A close relative on my Dad's side sent me a private message on facebook to tell me she's expecting her fourth in February.  I was one of the first people she told, but she doesn't even know about my infertility.  It was nice to be one of the very first to know about her happy little secret, and because she didn't tell me in person I didn't feel obligated to tell her about what B & I are struggling with, I just got to absorb her news and for all she saw, I was just happy & ready to celebrate with her!
  • Co-worker's daughter- "Grandma" is very proud and this high-risk pregnancy was all we heard about for months, though knowing my infertility struggles she was very thoughtful and did ask if her talking about her grandchildren made me uncomfortable.  I told her I was happy for her and wanted to celebrate with her... It gets a little tough sometimes but it IS nice to see things from another phase in the circle of life.
  • Another co-worker- we held a joint baby shower for these two ladies.  Her daughter was born in April or May 2012... I get the two co-workers' birth dates mixed up.
  • Co-worker- told me face-to-face she was expecting.  They hadn't been to an RE yet, but had been TTC for two years and were starting to wonder if maybe they were facing some infertility issues themselves, but thankfully finally got pregnant naturally on their own.  Her son was born in April or May 2012.
  • Second Cousin- called to tell me she was pregnant right at about the time B & I had decided not to go through with the IVF.  I tried to show her that I was happy for her, but the timing couldn't have been worse so I fear I may have hurt her feelings because I wasn't very animated in my congratulations.  I tried to explain later (she didn't know about our infertility before this), and I hope she accepted my apology and understood that I truly am very happy for her.  Her daughter was born in July 2012.  Her brother & his wife also had a baby earlier this year.  A couple of our other second cousins had babies during the last two years as well.
  • Another College Roommate- had read my blog and respecting my wishes, emailed me to tell me she was expecting.  I called her right away and told her (honestly) how happy I was for her.  I was touched that she had been reading this blog and was so sensitive to what I was going through.  Her precious daughter was born in July 2012.
  • Wife of an Old Co-worker- He (my old co-worker) facebook messaged me to tell me they were expecting after years of miscarriages and infertility.  They were only 5 weeks along at the time.  Very sadly they lost the baby pretty far along into the pregnancy.
  • Friend I Studied Abroad With- told me face-to-face that she was pregnant before she even heard the heartbeat.  I felt privileged to hear so early... and lucky, so I could absorb the news relatively discreetly before she told a larger group of people later that day.  Her son was born in April 2012.
  • Friend from College- emailed me to let me know she was pregnant with twins after TTC for quite some time.  Her sons were born in October 2011.  Her little blessings give me hope.
  • Another Friend from High School- I can't quite remember how she told me.  Might have been over the phone actually.  We are close enough that she knew about my infertility, but not so close anymore that I've even had a chance to meet her daughter yet.  Her DD was born in the September of 2011.
  • Friend from High School- I found out on FB when everyone else did... with an ultrasound picture.  This was #2, her first was a son born a couple months after our wedding in 2009, and her daughter was born in August 2011.
  • Another College Roommate- called me the day we found out we may have male factor infertility to tell me she was finally pregnant after about two years of TTC.  Her son was born in July 2011.
  • Cousin-in-Law- After years of secondary infertility, my cousin & his wife welcomed their 2nd DD in July 2011.  I was elated with joy for them and found a great deal of inspiration from their strength, perseverance, and good fortune.
  • BFF from High School- called to tell me she was pregnant six months after her wedding.  Her daughter was born November 2010.  Six months or so later she called me to tell me she was pregnant with again w/ #2!  Her second daughter was born in February 2012.
  • Another College Roommate- called me to tell me she and her husband were expecting a few months before B & I started actively trying.  Her daughter was born in September 2010.  #2 was a son born almost a week and a half ago, October 2012.  He was born around the same time that our baby would have been due if we'd gone through with the IVF and it had been successful.
  • College Roommate- This was the first of my college crew to have a baby.  I think she called me to tell me, though it could have been an email.... but I do think she called.  She announced her pregnancy before we officially started trying in June 2010, but half of her pregnancy spilled into those first few months we were TTC so she was high on my radar at that time.  Her daughter was born in August 2010.  She just emailed me a week or two ago that they are now due with #2 & due in late April 2013... shortly before we would have been due if we had been correct when we were convinced we were pregnant a couple months ago (I haven't been able to bring myself to blog about this devastating event yet, but think I will be ready very soon).

Some of these people have gone through a lot of loss and heartache on their journey to have a child and others' stories have not ended well.  Of course, I am happy for all of these people but it has really put into perspective how long we have been trying. The list could go on and on but these are the people who came to mind first. 

It's a strange feeling when you've heard so many annoucements after trying for over 2 years. You would think I'd be numb to it by now... but no, it's still a little slap in the face every single time.  A little sting of sadness.  Just another reminder of how long we've been at this.  I don't know if it will ever get easier.  Ten months ago, we were gearing up for our 1st IVF and were worried we would have too many implanted embryos...HA!  I hope one day we can be expecting our baby, but the more time that goes by, the less I believe that day will be anytime soon.

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