What to expect...

... if you attend Advocacy Day on May 8th!

Again, in support of last week's National Infertility Awareness month, I am committed to posting every day this week and promoting Resolve's Advocacy Day in Washington D.C. on May 8, 2013.  I am sadly unable to attend in person, but I want to help get the word out there so I am reposting valuable information about the event as I find it.

Today's post is a copy and paste job from Resolve's Website, about what to expect if you are able to attend this important advocacy event in the nation's capital next week:

What to Expect

We like to say Advocacy Day is the day of "Three E's".  Exciting. Empowering. Eventful.

You will spend your day with women and men who care about the same things you care about. Many of our advocates have experienced infertility or are still on their journey to parenthood. You will come together and your voice will be heard!

Walking through the same buildings as our lawmakers will give you a sense of pride and strength knowing you are there to make a difference for you and all those who battle infertility.

Advocacy Day

Advocacy Day is a 2 day event. On May 7 we will have an evening reception from 5:30PM to 7:30PM and then will begin at 7:30AM on Wednesday, May 8. RESOLVE will provide you with a morning training session before you head out for your Congressional meetings. The day will end with a wrap-up reception. Please plan to be at Advocacy Day through 5:00 p.m. on May 8 as you may have late appointments. We encourage all participants to plan your travel accordingly.   

RESOLVE will schedule your appointments for you and provide you with a schedule on Advocacy Day. All Advocacy Day participants will attend training before your scheduled appointments. You will also receive your packets of materials as well as receive in-depth training regarding the issues and talking points for the appointments. You will also meet your fellow advocates during the Training session. 

Advocacy Day Training

RESOLVE will provide all of the training for Advocacy Day no experience is necessary!  If you want to educate your elected officials on the disease of infertility, then you are ready to come to Washington.

Training Conference Call

Monday, April 29, 2013
9:00 PM ET

Register here

RESOLVE will send information on the Training Call to those who have registered for Advocacy Day.  If you miss the training call, you will have access to download a recording of the call.

Do you have more questions? Read the Advocacy Day FAQs. Get travel tip information here. 

********************************************

I hope this helps in planning your trip to Washington, DC for those of you who are able to go, and I hope to be able to follow in your footsteps sometime within the next few years, once our infertility and other finances settle down a bit!

Advocacy Day May 8, 2013

While conducting a little web browsing as research for my "Week after NIAW" blogging commitment, I learned of Resolves Advocacy Day on the Resolve website.  Here is an explanation of what this important event is about:

Advocacy Day:

It's time for Members of Congress
to understand the needs of the infertility community.  

"Advocacy Day is a RESOLVE event where women and men living with infertility come together in Washington, D.C. to talk to Members of Congress about issues important to our community. RESOLVE holds this annual event so you have chance to make your voice heard. We will make your appointments for you and provide you with the training and information you need for this day of empowerment. Advocacy Day is a great opportunity to meet RESOLVE leaders and others from the infertility community who want to make a difference."

I really wish I could go and take part in this important movement.  Unfortunately, funds are too tight right now with some big birthday travel plans already on the calendar for B's 40th, as well as MOH duties for my sister's wedding later this year.  Not to mention our plans for IVF early in 2014.  Throwing another trip across the country right now just isn't in the cards for us this year, but I'm excited to find other ways to support his cause virtually and socially from home!

The first way I can do that is by promoting the event itself to my readership :)

If any of my dear readers might consider attending, but are not entirely convinced of the value or what to expect, here is some helpful information from the Resolve Website about why you should go:

Why Should I Go?

Participating in RESOLVE’s 2013 Advocacy Day ensures that the infertility voice is heard and that your elected officials understand the needs of those trying to building a family.  

You should attend RESOLVE’s Advocacy Day if…

• You want to educate your elected officials about the disease of infertility.

• You are dealing with infertility and want to feel a sense of control.  

• You have a loved one touched by infertility and want to show your support.  

• You want more public understanding about the disease of infertility.

What you’ll accomplish…

• You will create relationships with key lawmakers and their staff that will impact future discussions regarding infertility and healthcare

• You will feel empowered that you are making a difference for yourself, your family, and those diagnosed in years to come.  

• The people you meet with will understand that people with infertility matter. 

Do you have more questions? Read the Advocacy Day FAQs.

More on NIAW (National Infertility Awareness Week)

In effort to assist in promoting awareness of infertility issues, I am reposting this, "what you can do" page from the resolve website.

What You Can Do

Be part of the infertility movement! Anyway you can raise awareness will help increase public understanding about the disease of infertility. We urge anyone who cares about the infertility community to help with our efforts.

In this section we’ve provided ways for you to get involved with the biggest infertility awareness campaign of the year.  This campaign helps the infertility community share our voice and provide important information to the public. 

The goal is to make sure the public:

• Understands that infertility is a disease that affects 1 in 8 couples of reproductive age;
• Acknowledges that there are many ways to build a family;
• Understands that the disease of infertility impacts the physical, emotional, and financial health of those that are facing it;
• And those trying to conceive know when to seek the advice of a specialist.

Take a look at all the ways you can raise awareness and be part of the infertility movement!

• Sponsor
• Hold an event
• Share Information
• Share Your Story
• Know More About Infertility

Daily Infertility News Digest

Rural women still subjected to harassment on grounds of 'infertility' The Hindu Subjecting women to harassment, on grounds of 'infertility', is still one of the prime reasons behind disputes between couples in rural pockets in Krishna district. "A few weeks ago, it was reported that a housewife had committed suicide under ... See all stories on this topic »

Cancer, Parkinson's and Infertility: Popular Monsanto Product Linked to Major ... Center for Research on Globalization Cancer, Parkinson's and infertility—these are just some of the diseases and health problems that a new study says may be linked to the heavy use of Roundup weed killer, the world's most popular herbicide that is sprayed on millions of acres of crops. See all stories on this topic »

Taking Action for Your Health: Surgical options may help women treat infertility ABC Action News ... Account (YouTube, Google+, Gmail, Orkut, Picasa, or Chrome) to add ABCActionNews's video to your playlist. Sign in. Transcript Statistics Report. Published on Apr 27, 2013. Taking Action for Your Health: Surgical options may help women treat ... See all stories on this topic »

Milwaukee Acupuncture and Weight Loss Center's New Website Informs, Educates Yahoo! New Zealand News The website's blog offers articles on topics ranging from weight loss techniques to natural infertility treatments. Dr. Rapkin states that the blog will continue to grow, creating an ever-expanding resource of interesting, accessible data on all ... See all stories on this topic »

National Infertility Awareness Week, April 21-27, 2013

I've been so busy with work lately (I travelled to four different conferences, four weeks in a row, ending last week), that I kind of dropped the ball on blogging during National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW), so I am going to commit to blogging every day this week (the week after NIAW), to continue the movement even after the big push is over.  In so doing, I also hope to promote awareness of the upcoming advocacy day next week.

In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, I first wanted to share this video and increase awareness of Resolve, the National Infertility Association.  I hope all of my readers struggling with infertility have visited this site and taken advantage of the many resources available there.

A few quotes really stood out to me in this video:

1. We view infertility as a movement... [and] as a cause that people need to care about.
2. We want the government to view this as a disease and put... financial resources behind it.  It's a public health issue, and we want to see it taken as such.
3. Your resolution may be that you are child free... or... that you build your family through adoption.  Resolve stands for helping you meet that resolution... [whatever it may be].
4. I hope that we can raise awareness so that when someone is diagnosed with infertility, instead of hearing, "Oh, you just need to relax," they'll hear, "How can I support you?"

That last one is still a huge thorn in my side.  You'd be shocked by how many people STILL suggest that maybe we just need to relax when they learn of our struggle with infertility!  At first it was insulting and annoying, now it is so predictable it is almost funny.... or at least it would be if it wasn't still so painful.

A Return to Blogging

I am risen!  Today marks a return to blogging and chronicling my & B's story as we wade through a sea of infertility during our quest to start a family together.  This blog has been conspicuously dormant for the past four months, and very quite for another six months or so before that.  I have been having a silent rebellion against blogging and sharing my feelings with the world for nearly a year, and have finally decided to open up about what has been on my mind and hopefully get back into a regular routine of blogging again.  How fitting that I should make my return on the first day of National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW), which is recognized April 21-27, 2013.  This first returning post will be my small contribution to the movement, though my busy work engagements this week will not allow me to be much more active than this until the week is over.

My hiatus all started with some comments from friends and family which were well intentioned or at least not meant to be hurtful, but made me feel bad in a way I didn't like, so I slowly stopped sharing my feelings for a while, since so many people who know me personally also follow my blog.  If this was a completely anonymous blog and nobody knew me, I could have shared my frustrations about other people's comments on here as an outlet.  But as it is, I was finding that opening up on here was leaving me vulnerable to painful comments and so I refrained from writing for a while.

Many have been asking me in person why I don't write any more, and looking for updates on our story.  Here we are, one year out from B's surgery and many are wondering if anything has changed.  

I may choose to blog later about the specific comments that made me think twice about opening up in my blog, but only so that people can understand how truly sensitive I am about this stuff and with the hope that it will prevent them or others from making the same mistake again....  or I may just keep silent about it forever because in the end, I know that I am over-sensitive to everything revolving around babies, motherhood, and fertility and nobody with whom I've shared my blog with has anything but concern and love for me, so why would I want to call them out on something that is really my problem anyway?

But for now, I will satisfy everyone's curiosity with an update on where we are one year post-surgery:

No changes.

B had another sample analysis taken a couple months ago, and there were no improvements to any of his counts.  He's pretty much right where he was before the varicocele repair surgery.  Which honestly, wasn't a bad place then either.  He's always been right on the edge.  Always on the low end of normal, or just low enough to be right on the outside of normal.  We always knew the surgery was a shot in the dark, since his numbers did not indicate that the varicoceles were definitively what was causing our infertility, but it was the only treatment we could consider that was covered by health insurance.

With that last sample analysis, we are now pretty much just biding our time until we can try to finance IVF in 2014.  We are always aware of our infertility, but we are barely even TTC anymore, since we don't have hope that the surgery made a difference and it has been technically four and a half years of trying on our own not working (three years of purposefully/actively TTC).  After a while, you just kind of lose hope and give up.  We know our plan is to try to find a way to afford IVF early in 2014, so the end goal seems tangible, like  a light at the end of the tunnel, like the end of this torture is drawing near, and makes each month that we don't get pregnant seem like less of a big deal than it used to be.  

Sometimes.  

Other times things hurt as much as they always have and I can't pull myself out of the pain and depression of wanting what is natural and my human instinct to have, only for my body to work against me and nobody can even tell me why.  

Unexplained Infertility is the worst.

One Year Ago Today

I got my period today.  It happens every month, so I shouldn't be surprised, though I'm never prepared for it.  I'm still always wondering if this could finally be "the month."

Kind of ironic that I would get my period today, of all days.

It was actually a year and two days ago that I started this blog, as I was trying to process the decision that B and I had made to not go through with our scheduled IVF cycle.  

And it was on this day, January 19, 2012, that there was no turning back from that decision, because it was the last day to take our insurance company's partner up on their offer to make good on the mis-advertised discounted rate for IVF on their website (see the tab in the navigation bar above for more information on this story).

After the 19th, they would no longer honor that price of five thousand and some dollars for a fresh round of IVF.  It was on this day one year ago, that we sealed the last nail in our coffin.

Had we gone through with it, and it had worked, I'd have given birth to our child in early October.  I'd have a three month old baby to care for.  I'd be just returning to work after my maternity leave.  Our dream would be a reality.

Instead we are left with empty shadows and fleeting memories of what our life used to be like before this nightmare of infertility, and the future we once hoped for and looked forward to.

Now we are in a constant state of limbo.  Never wanting to make too big of a decision, never able to commit to anything, never ready to give up, but finding it more and more difficult to hold on to hope, or at least it is for me.

How ironic that today, of all days, I would get my period.  Just another tickmark noting yet again, we aren't pregnant.

I suppose this could probably go without saying, but I'm not exactly handling all this today as gracefully as I would like.  But hey, tomorrow's another day, and it's just one day closer to the day we finally do IVF, or get pregnant naturally, or until whatever is meant to happen, happens.  

Tomorrow is another day, and things always look different in the morning after a night's sleep, yada yada yada.  I got myself a lovely manicure once I finally dragged myself off our recliner this afternoon, and that makes me feel pretty darn special.  And that's a start.  So I think I'll settle in for yet another episode of Breaking Bad on Netflix and a tasty glass Moscato wine (thanks Steph!) with my husband for the rest of the night, and in tribute to Scarlett O'hara, I'll worry about all the rest of it tomorrow.