It's officially over

That's it, it's over.  Yesterday was the deadline for taking advantage of the health insurance program's offer to honor their misprinted rate of only $5600 for a fresh cycle of IVF.  It still kind of hurts to actually type out those words.  What a horrible missed opportunity.


I do feel like I have some closure now, because there is no option to change our minds and make it happen and go for it after all.  That time has passed, now we just have to move forward and accept our decision.


I marked the occasion by contacting my RE down in IL to tell her our decision finally.  It was through email, so no response yet, but what can I really expect her to say?  What can I expect anyone to say?


I contacted my local RE too to ask him why I can't use my Gonal-F pens for the IUI I'm doing in a couple of weeks.  My infertility angel friend (my friend's sister) told me she had used these kinds of injectables for some of the IUI's she had done before moving on to IVF.  Why should I waste ANOTHER opportunity when I have these expensive medications that were given to me for free?


He wants me  to use Clomid again.  Clomid doesn't do sh*t.  I used it for my first IUI and only got 2 follicles from it.  Of course I had the lowest dosage, but still.  Come on.  My friends on the Baby Center Forum who are all doing their IVF's right now are getting like 18 or more follicles from the injectables!  We'll see what he comes back with for a response (this was an email too).


I shouldn't say that about the Clomid either.  Two of my very close friends took Clomid, which regulated their cycles & ovulation and they were able to conceive naturally fairly quickly because of it.  One of them just gave birth two beautiful twin boys not too long ago!  The other one, not only did she get pregnant with her beautiful son because of Clomid, but her brother and his wife also took it and got pregnant with twins as well.  So Clomid definitely can work wonders and is a miracle drug for some... just not me.  Besides, ovulating isn't my problem, I do it like clockwork.  Like I've said before, I *wish* I could just take a simple pill and solve the problem behind our infertility issues.  But for us it is not going to be that simple, mostly because they can't find anything that is obviously causing the problem in the first place.


If my WI RE has a good reason why he won't use the Gonal-F with me, I'll donate them to the clinic down in IL.  The nurse there, Lucia, is another angel who collects unused leftover meds  for women in need.  She's the one who called me last Tuesday saying she had something for me.  Unfortunately it still wasn't enough though and I asked her to pass it along to another couple in need.  If I donate the rest of what I already have, maybe it will be like a good karma effect or something and when our time comes around again, someone will do the same for us.